Intro

This blog is coming from many places. It comes from my current struggles. It comes from my long-standing frustration with how little I feel I truly know God (as opposed to knowing about God). It comes from my anger with God over how my life has completely fallen apart. Most of all , it comes from my desire that all that I'm going through mean something--my visceral desire that, if I am to play the role of Job, I want the stakes to be high, and I want God to win his bet on me. It occurred to me, today, that the question of whether the pain I'm in now was worth it is ultimately up to what I do with it. If I wallow in it, and allow it to overcome me, then it will not be worth it. If I use it to truly get closer to God than I have ever been, and, more importantly for me as a minister of the Gospel, to offer solace to others who may be enduring the same struggle, then it is more than worth it.

Put another way ... will I "curse God and die", the way Job's wife urged him to, or will I find some way to give him glory and invite others to do the same?

I don't expect this to be easy. I hope it will be successful. I pray it will have been worth it.

In Jesus' Name,

Patrick